Rearview Mirror
I have been talking about setting up a blog site for over a month now. I was told it was easy to do and it was free. So, why did it take me so long? Naming it! I really wanted this cool, catchy and unforgettable name. All my friends have these really cool blog names, and this is what I think, far more than rubies, wanna be rockstar, that describe them so well and I wanted the same. So I pondered it, asked friends for advice, came up with a few only to change my mind, but I just couldn't come up with a really good one that made me want to get everything started.
Joel Osteen comes on every Sunday morning and I have made it a habit of watching it. I sat down to watch it Sunday afternoon knowing what would be his topic, after all it was Christmas. I guess they didn't get the memo... because what I had expected to be a sermon on Christ's birth was actually on something totally different. He talked about not living in the past and to quit constantly looking in the rearview mirror. What's done is done and there is no going back or changing it so why keep revisiting it. It really talked to me and has stayed with me. I constantly look back into the past when things seem to go wrong in my life. There is so much for me to blame on the past. Why I am the way I am, why I stuggle with low self esteem, why I struggle with always feeling overwhelmed, why I have a hard time trusting. As some of my close friends know, I did not have the best of childhoods. There is a lot of pain, heartache, heartbreak and regret. I know we are not supposed to ask, but sometimes I cry out to God, Why? Why did you make me go through those terrible, horrible things? Why did I have to suffer every form of abuse known? Why did I have to have a mother that is so wrapped up in her own self pity that she doesn't have room to love me? Why couldn't I have had a father? Why? Why? Why? (Sheesh...could someone please call off the pity party!) I have even reminded God sometimes of all I had been through while asking him for something I wanted or needed. Surely I've been through enough and I deserve something better(probably whatever I'm asking for at the time).
The point of all this is, I thought of a good name for my blog.... Looking Forward.... No more looking in the rearview mirror, no more looking at the past and no more revisiting old hurts and heartaches. This will be very hard for me, it has been a crutch that I have leaned on when I wanted to feel sorry for myself, when I wanted to have something to blame my troubles on. Let go and let God have it. It will only heal when I leave it alone and stop picking at the scab and re-opening the wound. Objects(old hurts) in the mirror(the past) are closer than they appear and if I am not careful and avoid them they will cause me to trip up and crash.
So now instead of asking why, I am now praying, HOW? How can I use it for you glory, God? How can what I have been through inspire, enrich and help others? Please God, don't let what I have endured be in vain... use it!
Now my blog name IS cool and catchy and it describes me very well. Looking Forward is my motto for the new year, pressing ahead and only glancing in the rearview mirrow to make sure when God is changing my path that the way is clear and there is nothing standing in the way.
"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead" Philippians 3:13
Joel Osteen comes on every Sunday morning and I have made it a habit of watching it. I sat down to watch it Sunday afternoon knowing what would be his topic, after all it was Christmas. I guess they didn't get the memo... because what I had expected to be a sermon on Christ's birth was actually on something totally different. He talked about not living in the past and to quit constantly looking in the rearview mirror. What's done is done and there is no going back or changing it so why keep revisiting it. It really talked to me and has stayed with me. I constantly look back into the past when things seem to go wrong in my life. There is so much for me to blame on the past. Why I am the way I am, why I stuggle with low self esteem, why I struggle with always feeling overwhelmed, why I have a hard time trusting. As some of my close friends know, I did not have the best of childhoods. There is a lot of pain, heartache, heartbreak and regret. I know we are not supposed to ask, but sometimes I cry out to God, Why? Why did you make me go through those terrible, horrible things? Why did I have to suffer every form of abuse known? Why did I have to have a mother that is so wrapped up in her own self pity that she doesn't have room to love me? Why couldn't I have had a father? Why? Why? Why? (Sheesh...could someone please call off the pity party!) I have even reminded God sometimes of all I had been through while asking him for something I wanted or needed. Surely I've been through enough and I deserve something better(probably whatever I'm asking for at the time).
The point of all this is, I thought of a good name for my blog.... Looking Forward.... No more looking in the rearview mirror, no more looking at the past and no more revisiting old hurts and heartaches. This will be very hard for me, it has been a crutch that I have leaned on when I wanted to feel sorry for myself, when I wanted to have something to blame my troubles on. Let go and let God have it. It will only heal when I leave it alone and stop picking at the scab and re-opening the wound. Objects(old hurts) in the mirror(the past) are closer than they appear and if I am not careful and avoid them they will cause me to trip up and crash.
So now instead of asking why, I am now praying, HOW? How can I use it for you glory, God? How can what I have been through inspire, enrich and help others? Please God, don't let what I have endured be in vain... use it!
Now my blog name IS cool and catchy and it describes me very well. Looking Forward is my motto for the new year, pressing ahead and only glancing in the rearview mirrow to make sure when God is changing my path that the way is clear and there is nothing standing in the way.
"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead" Philippians 3:13
posted by Sonya Terrell at
9:38 PM
9 Comments:
I'm glad I know you.
Patrick is so concise and too the point isn't he? He's a great commenter.
Sonya, this a great observation: Objects(old hurts) in the mirror(the past) are closer than they appear and if I am not careful and avoid them they will cause me to trip up and crash.
Glad to see another blogger from GM!
Love you a million times over...great name(for your blog)...great lady...great friend...
That was me....Carrie
Wow Sonya! I think you picked the perfect name for your blog. It has been so awesome to see how God has been changing your heart. I've only known you a year, but everytime you share your struggles I already see God at work. You encourage me in more ways than you know! Cindy
You've come a long way, lady! I was thinking about you the other day- Sitting in the back of Christ Church, opting out of communion because you might be noticed... And now look at you! OUT THERE! An example to all! You go girl! I'm so proud of who you've become! Ya know I love ya!
I am so so proud of you Sonya. This will be a great outlet for you and has actually been therapy for myself! I look forward to reading all of your blogs!
Well said! I am so glad to see you looking forward and I will always be here to remind you to not look back.
K
Wow, Sonya. That's amazing. I'm always inspired by your love for the Lord in your life and how much you yearn for it. Thank you for sharing it with us. I love you, Girl. Michelle
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