Wednesday, March 26, 2008

WOW....with a capital W.O.W!

This performance blew me away last night.........

He may just win it and I'm okay with that!

Thursday, March 13, 2008


This is fast becoming my favorite song. How Great is Our God has had that top honor, but Indescribable is taking over.

We sang it in Celebrate Recovery tonight and it struck me deeper because of the venue in which it was sung. A place in which He can truly show how amazing He is. That one line of "You know the depths of my heart and You love me the same" makes me want to drop to my knees and never get up.



Friday, March 07, 2008

Balancing Act

Life has become one huge balancing act for me! Obviously, which you can tell from the lack of writing in this blog! (I wonder if I even have any readers left!) Trying to keep it all together has become my daily prayer instead of an action of becoming more organized. I don't think all the organization in the world is going to make a difference right now!

I'm working two jobs, both of which I love. My new one (Pitney Bowes) is turning into a challenge of stuffing so much knowledge in my brain that I worry about an explosion any minute! I'm on my fourth week and I haven't even begin to understand or know it all. For goodness sake, I even have to learn the rules and regulations of the United States Post Office! I'm told it will take about a year for the light bulb to go off and I can then say......oh yeah I get it now! Believe me, I'm not complaining, I do love it so far. I was able to go out on my own in the field and visit customers this week. It was so much fun and far different than Real Estate and I got to be in my great hometown of Frisco. I am so happy to have this city as my main territory!

I am still working at Victoria's Secret part time, I have to with being out of work for so long. The bills piled up and need some attention and working 10-12 hours a week help. Not complaining again (ok, sometimes I do!) I love it there and it's so much fun. Not to mention in the last two weeks we have gotten a free $45 bra, a free mascara and two free bottles of lotion! Anytime they come up with something new we get it to try! Gotta love that! On a side note......I really struggled when I had to choose between a management position here and the job at Pitney Bowes. There was a lot of praying that went on for that decision!

Taking care of Nick full time has been WONDERFUL but challenging at the same time. I had gotten used to eating PB&J's on the nights I didn't have him and now I have to cook something! That hasn't been the true challenge, just an added chore. The challenge has been to work really hard at being both a mother and father to him. His dad hasn't had much place in his life over the last three months, so I have had to pick up the slack. All the while, I know that no matter how hard I try to be everything to him, I fail because ultimately he needs and wants his father. It leaves a huge sense of responsibility on my shoulders and I have given up most of any kind of social life to be with him and it's leaving me out of touch with the adult world. Thank God, for my church activities or I would probably resort to becoming 13 again and feeling as if my whole life is video games and Debbie cakes! We have grown closer than ever before and I love the fact that he trusts in me so much. I think we are on the way to fixing the problems with his dad and hopefully things will be changing for the better (for Nick) in the near future.

As mentioned in the above paragraph, church activities have been a big part of my life. I attend Celebrate Recovery twice a week and it has been a challenging journey for me to say the least. Confrontation with the past, with my hurts and hangups has taken some energy out of me. Ultimately I know it's for the good, because there is healing involved, but bringing up memories of my childhood and telling them to a group of people has at times seemed like more than I could handle. Everyone in the group is so supportive though and have passed no judgment on mistakes I have made in my life because of the past and thank God no one passing judgment on my salvation because I haven't gotten over the past yet! Healing is just around the corner.....I can feel it!

I also have been taking more of a leadership role in our Singles Ministry at church. I have had the privilege of being able to teach again and can I just say, how awesome that is! What a blessing these people have been in my life! We have grown so much in just the last three months and I am amazed at what God is doing in the group. What started out as about 5 of us meeting on a regular basis and calling ourselves the "single group" is now a full blown "Singles Ministry" with around 15 of us on a regular basis, with new ones coming every week. The pastors of our church have really been supportive of our desire to have this as a intricate part of PTCC and therefore we are no longer a group but a ministry! God is so good and I trust in Him to grow us more in numbers and in our relationship with each other and with Him.

So there you have it, my life and my attempt at balancing it all. Two jobs, full time mom and dad, in depth therapy for healing and a leadership role all call me to live out my life so others can see that I truly live out Phillipians 4:13...............

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"

Monday, February 11, 2008


Introducing the newest sales rep for Pitney Bowes, handling the Frisco area............yes, that's right, ME!

Starting a new business journey tomorrow and a whole new discovery of God's will for my life.

Anyone need a postage meter let me know!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

What did you do on New Years....

Yep, the new year started out great! It was a wonderful, fulfilling day. Relaxing, joyful and a good start to the new year.

I started out by sleeping in till 7:45 (for those who know me know this is late for me!)! Made a big breakfast for Nick and I. We went to a movie. Made brownies for dinner at a friends. Went to said friends house and had a wonderful homemade dinner, surrounded by awesome people I get to call friends. Played a game. Laughed till my sides hurt. Undressed and redressed Darla (more on that later). Oh yeah, and I threw three legged men at the ceiling........

I'll let you figure that one out! :)

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

So true.............

And so appropriate to go along with my post yesterday.

"Comfort is a good state in which to find rest, renewal and refuge for a while. It is a dreary and dismal place to take up permanent residence.

The reason life can be so rich is precisely because it can be so difficult. You cannot possibly appreciate or fully benefit from the good things if you have no experience with the bad things."

Ralph Martson

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Standing Tall

January 1, 2008.....a new year. It's hard to believe. Over the last few days I have reflected back on 2007 and most of the memories are sad and I have to say I'm glad it's over! It was a hard year......the hardest I think I have ever been through. So many major changes, ones that I honestly didn't see coming or believed I would ever make. But there has been some good times in between the hard times and I'm thankful for that, or I don't think I would have made it through it!

2007 in review goes something like this:

Let's start with some of the major changes this year since both of them turned my world topsy turvy for awhile! I left a church that I was a member of for three and a half years. One that I was intricately involved in. One where I knew everyone and everyone knew me. It was my comfort zone a place up until the last four months of attending that I felt safe and at home. God had other plans and in June I left. It was a hard road for about three months visiting churches, trying to figure out where God wanted me.....although I have to say that I never doubted the road I was on. I was closer to him than ever before and I didn't care where it lead me. See.....He wanted me out of a building and a body that I had made my comfort zone and safe place and into HIS arms of comfort and safety. He wanted me to Himself. I felt blessed to be wanted like that. Don't get me wrong there were times I missed the comfort of my past home, but I never once looked back. let's talk about the true place of faith He wanted to take me on and is still taking me! After almost five years of a Real Estate career, I left. I left with no other job, with no promise of another job. I felt the calling back in September but it took me a few weeks to put the calling into action (I have a habit of doing that)! I had confirmation after confirmation until one day out of the blue, I quit. Once again I was on a road I hadn't plan on being on and this time doubt crept in every chance it could....fear too. It has been the biggest battle of trust in God's provision and although things are financially spiraling out of control, I have food on the table and a roof over my head and for this I must be thankful. He has a plan and I'm trusting it's a good one.

With the major changes came hurt like I have never felt before. I was so deeply hurt by someone that at times I didn't know how to handle it and would often find myself in the closet crying out to God for relief. It was a physical ache inside my heart and I couldn't shake it for a long time. I told a friend that the hurt and pain it caused was worse than when I went through a divorce......because with the divorce I knew for a long time it was coming, but with this hurt I hadn't seen it coming at all. I still to this day don't know why they had to say the things they did or treated me the way they did. This was someone I trusted with everything I had. I know now I didn't deserve it although at first I thought I must have because there is no way they would have said it otherwise. I was also hurt when I finally had to realize that my value to some people was based on where I attended church and not on who I was as a person. Dealing with that was not fun. But once again God was calling me to Himself. Calling me to trust in Him first and everything else will follow.

I could go on and on with hurt caused by my own mother, people I used to work with, my ex-husband, my oldest son, but I not looking to write a novel and I don't want to send anyone off to la-la land! Just know that it's been a year of having broken dreams and more than once a broken heart.

There has been blessings this year, I don't want you to think I'm a drama queen with only bad news to report!

I found a great new church with a group of people that fits me and I fit them. There is such a level of maturity there and I count it a blessing to be a part of it. I am slowly getting involved, but most of all having fun while drawing closer to God!

I have made a lot of new friends some of them are as crazy I am and there has been so much laughter! As we sat together at our Christmas eve service I felt once again safe with this part of my life and I know God has great plans for our group. There has also been re-connection with old friends that have added a new layer of love and acceptance around my heart.

I now unofficially (still working out the details) have full custody of Nick. Although this produces huge joy in my life it is also a cause of pain. Pain that his father has chosen someone else over his own son and is willing to give him up. It was ultimately Nicks decision,,,,he said it was too negative and depressing at his dad's.....but his dad went along with it so easily. I know what it's like to have a parent choose their own selfishness over their own child and it pains me that Nick will have to experience it. I hope that I can bring something to his life that he will know that he is loved unconditionally. It will be good bringing him up full time in a Christian home, where God reigns!

I thought of titling this post "2007 in Review", but felt like the current title seemed more appropriate. I'm still standing tall despite a year of trusting like I have never trusted before. A year of extreme obedience even when I couldn't fathom the reason why! But most of all it's been a year of growth, a year of experiencing God in deeper ways. A year of finding what I am truly made of. A year of unparalleled strength and perserverence. A year of shedding old clothes of comfort and safety and donning clothes of trust, faith and patience.

So, I guess you could say it's been the best year of my life.