Sad News

My boy's granddad, or pawpaw as they called him, died this morning. Although it is my ex-husbands father my heart is still hurting. I knew him for over 20 years and even though he wasn't "like a father" to me he was as close to a role model of a father as I had ever known.

Mostly my heart is hurting for my boys. It was the only grandfather they had ever had and now he is gone. It will be hard on them. It will be especially hard on Andrew, my oldest. He has been in jail for the last three days (for the usual stupid stunts he pulls) and now he will always have the memory of finding out his grandfather died while sitting in a jail cell. I don't know what this will do to him.....either it will be a wake-up call to him to get his life straight or he will self-destruct as he tends to do. I pray that it is the wake-up call.

I'm sad for Ed (my ex) too. We may be divorced but we have always had a good relationship and it's so hard on me knowing that he is hurting. I have always loved and cared for him and that extended to his family. I haven't seen his family since our divorce three years ago, but I have some good memories of his father being there for us many times and being an awesome pawpaw to the boys.

Nick has kept it all in and won't talk about it and Andrew is just angry at the hospital for letting his grandfather die....it's his way of coping. It's at times like this that I feel inadequate as a mother because I can't take their pain away. Prayers for my boys would be so appreciated.

God's blessings on you and your families.