Dreams

Dreams.......they have been haunting my night while I sleep. To dream I know is not abnormal but I am waking up feeling more tired than when I went to sleep. I wake up feeling like I have actually lived the dream. Some of them have been really heavy and I have an oppressive feeling when I wake up from them. Some I forget within a few minutes of getting up but the worse is the ones the are dogging my footsteps throughout the days. I can't forget them. They not only haunt my nights but my days too. They are not nightmares. They are just dreams that stay with me and I can't escape them. Some of them I want to forget.

Last night before going to sleep I prayed that I could have a dreamless sleep, but it was not to be. It was another long heavy dream that woke me up at 4:45am feeling very tired. What are these dreams? I have taken to writing them down, trying to find a pattern or a meaning. Some would say that dreams is what is in your subconscious coming to the surface and the only way it does is through dreams. I hope that's not true! I don't know why I would dream some of the things I do.

This morning while reading, the author wrote that sometimes God spoke to the Apostle Paul through dreams and visions. Could this be the way that God is talking to me? I could definitely put a spiritual spin on some of them. Others.....no way! I don't know the answer. All I know is that I don't ever remember a time in my life like this. I have dreamt before, but sporadically and I usually forget them quickly. I miss those days.

I want them to end. I want a night of dreamless sleep. I want to wake up feeling refreshed instead of tired.

Maybe tonight.