Core

Yesterday was an awesome service at church! The worship was one of the best that I can remember. God was definitely in our midst! A lot of this was due to our men of GM (my church) coming back from...what I can only imagine...was an rewarding men's retreat at Lake Lavon. I could feel the power of God expressed through their faces, their worship, and their actions. CORE was the theme of their retreat. Getting back to the CORE (heart) of having passion for God. Getting back to the CORE values of our church.....Love, Truth, Beauty and Freedom

We only had men playing and singing on our worship team....one of them doing it for the first time. What a moving experience! As I watched my friend Cameron's arms raised high in the air as he sang, I almost lost it! My heart was so full of joy seeing him worshiping God like that, seeing the serene peace and total commitment to God on his face. And when he closed us in prayer...again tears of joy and happiness filled my eyes. My pastor delivered a powerful sermon that I will take with me for a long time. I also saw a new and refreshing passion for God in his face and my heart was once again filled with joy and happiness.

These men are my rock, the CORE of our church, men I call friends...my brothers in Christ. Anyone of them at anytime I know I could walk up to with a problem or a need and they would be there for me without hesitation. I am so blessed. My future husband has big shoes to fill...because I will settle for no less than what I see in the men of my church.

Through their worship yesterday it has renewed my passion for Christ...renewed my hunger to know him more.

Thanks to all the men of GM for being the CORE of our church and my life.

Change Is In The Air

So.........as all my readers know I have been writing about a possible change in my job. Well it is no longer a possibility but a reality. The change will happen on Monday. No going back now...time to move on and see what God has in store for me.

As most of you know I hate change. It is the one thing when asked of me will totally send me into a tizzy; a whirlpool of fear and a vortex of stress (do you like my exaggerations?). But in this instance none of this applies. There is a little anxiety over everything coming together easily with the least of amount of complications...but that's about it. Strangely enough there is actually...yes, I'm going to say it....excitement!

This is the peace that everyone has always told me about that you get when you know you have gone to God with a question and he has answered. It's a new feeling for me....this "peace" thing. Don't get me wrong, doubts still sometimes try to make their way into my mind, but the peace and the knowledge that it's the right thing for me to do, push them away. So many signs have pointed at this path, how could I not go down it. There will be trying times ahead and probably times that I will wonder if I made the right decision. But as long as I am obedient to God I will be okay.

As I sit here and write this and tears well up in my eyes. God is so faithful. He truly loves to give me the peace I so desperately seek. He has made me fall in love with him even more.

The future's so bright...I've got to wear shades.

Of course any future is bright with God in it.

Marathon Day

Yesterday's work day started at 9:45 and I ended up back home at 10:15 last night. Although very tired it was a productive day in many ways. I started at the office for an hour of just getting some papers signed by clients, faxing some papers, the usual office "stuff". But the day really started when I picked up my friend Patrick and his father Larry at 11:30....and the fun began! The marathon of finding the right first home for Patrick and Raquel had started! Raquel and Peg...Patrick's mom...met us later after a morning of shopping at the Dallas market.

What an awesome day! Spending all day with some of my best friends at the same time doing my job! How many people can say they can do that?! Not only did I get to spend the day with Patrick & Raquel, but also with Patrick's parents. What truly awesome people! I have immensely enjoyed getting to know my friend's family, it lets me know him better and of course I got to hear funny stories of how Patrick used to say "truck" growing up (you're not alone Titus!)!

The day was long, full of house hunting, negotiations, a difference of opinion here and there, five people crammed into one car, lunch at Scotty P's....dinner at La Hacienda. But the best was the day filled with friendship…old and new...love, fellowship and of course lots of laughter! Patrick's dad is very funny and had me cracking up at dinner! As I sat across the table at dinner from Peg and Larry I thought to myself how lucky my friend Patrick was to have such great parents. It is my biggest sadness in my life that I don't have that. But no worries....I truly believe God will place a loving family in my life someday.

Peg and Larry leave today and it's odd...I'm going to miss them.

Peg jokingly said they would adopt me and I could be Patrick's sis, I wonder if she was serious...........

To My Friend Kelly

It's been almost two weeks since my friends Ty & Kelly moved to Louisiana. Everyday I keep expecting them to come home. See....I'm used to them going away for a week or so on a cruise or to see their parents and it's starting to hit me they are not on vacation and they are not coming back.

I have to admit when they actually left two weeks ago it didn't hurt so much. I had known for a few months they were leaving and I had slowly built a wall around my heart to protect it when the time came. I remember the few days leading up to them leaving I kept wondering why I wasn't "losing it", why I wasn’t “breaking down" in fits of tears. I wondered what was wrong with me, my best friend was moving away and I wasn't miserable!

As I sat this morning thinking about the busy weekend ahead it hit me....Kelly should be here for it. It's our best friend Carrie's 30th birthday and she should be here to celebrate with us. Patrick's parents are in town and she should be here to meet them. Raquel and I are having a jewelry party at my house to show Patrick's mom's jewelry line and she should be here to ohh & ahh over it and of course spend some money. We have a church Easter egg hunt on Sunday and she should be here to watch Titus & Jordan's excitement on finding them and...Jordan trying to talk Titus into giving up his eggs to him! :) She should have been here last night when I made her favorite mushrooms and went to Janna and Justin's to see baby Adison. She is missing out...but most of all I am missing out on her standing beside me...being a part of my life as it goes on here in Texas.

The wall is starting to crumble. Everyday that she doesn't come home from "vacation" a little more of it breaks off. As pieces of it breaks off it leaves my heart exposed. The tears have started, coming at odd times and coming more and more. I am on the verge of "losing it"...of..."breaking down". Reality is setting in and believe me it's not pretty and I don't want to look at it.

I miss you Kelly and my heart is sad. I keep waiting for you to call me to come have a cup of coffee or to go to the gym. I can't stand the thought of someone else living in you house. I want you to live there just 5 minutes away from me. I want you to be here for......life! I miss Ty too...my little bro...my computer geek....my fix it, change it, handyman. Oh God...what am I going to do, it's only been two weeks! Instead of it getting easier it's getting harder.

I love you Kel....and I miss you....miss you....miss you!

Progress Report

So...yesterday I had my first meeting with one of the leaders from the new team I am considering. I have to admit I didn't go in expecting to be interested, I just went in out of curiosity and because of a sense of "I should". I was hoping that I wouldn't like what I heard and thus make the decision easy for me to stay with my current team. Well....this is not what happened. What I was told, what we talked about, sounds very promising, sounds like a good plan and sounds like an opportunity to make more money.

Yet...there are still doubts. For all the good things I heard, there are things that will change for me. I will lose a lot of flexibility...something I love. It will require more discipline and structure, but most of all more accountability. Yes...all of these things are good for me, but it would be a hard adjustment for me.

Today I meet the other leader of the team. The one that will be the deciding vote...although the leader I met with yesterday has already decided he wants me on the team. I have heard that the leader today, can be hard, and doesn't have a "warm and fuzzy" personality. But, I will be my own judge.

The door has been opened and I have stepped inside to look around. Things look good from where I'm standing, but I keep looking back through the doorway at the things I could be leaving behind.

Please continue to pray for me. Pray for my doubts about the decision Pray that if this is not the right doorway for me to go through that God will close it, lock it, put a chain around it, nail a few 2X4's over it and place a huge KEEP OUT! sign on it.

And pray that if it is the door to choose, that it will close behind me and I will not be able to open it again to look back and see the things I left behind.

Please God, leave me no doubt.

Prayers for Guidance

Today at 11:00 I will meet with the leader of the top Real Estate team in our office, about possibly coming to work with their team. This is something that came up suddenly and not something I was expecting to do. As most of you know I do not like change and going to work with another team scares me to death....even though all the recent changes on my current team has had me in a tough situation.

As I was praying about the meeting this morning, I had a bad case of fear come over me! The fear is not from making a change... it comes from not making the right decision that God wants me to make. I am scared that I will not hear correctly what the Holy Spirit is leading me to do. As I said, this is the top team in our office; they sold over 150 homes last year compared to our teams 56! I don't want to get caught up into making the wrong decisions because of the amount of money I could make or awesome promises made to me and then find out later it was not all that is seemed...then I have no where else to go. I am also scared of not making the change.... because of my fear of change! Even with all the difficulties of the last few months with my current team, I feel safe and I am willing to tough it out.

I just want to do what is right by God. I know with obedience to him comes blessings. This is a big decision for me and something that will affect my finances, my time, and my life. My fear of not doing God's will for me is so much stronger than my fear of change.

So pray for me my friends! Pray that my heart will be open and aware of what God has for me. Pray for guidance to make the right decision. But, most of all pray for clarity!

5 Wish Wednesday

For lack of time and coming up with anything to write about.........

1. I wish...I could eat anything I wanted and never gain a pound.

2. I wish...I can go to the beach this summer for vacation.

3. I wish....I would drink more water.

4. I wish....I was a better person and more like Christ.

5. I wish...I had more time to write for my blog.